FROM SURVIVING TO RECOVERING

 

A personal journey

 

 

When I began using art as a means of personal expression it was never my intent to show these pieces. In fact, they remained in a box under my bed until just recently. When Dr. Silver suggested I display my work it became an amazing opportunity to move forward. The poetry and artwork here depict a long and painful journey that I am on. Some of it is raw and may be difficult to look at, just as the material stored inside me for so long was difficult for me to look at and feel.

 

Early on in my work I dealt with RAGE and ANGER by attempting to show on paper the things too difficult to express in words. I began to see colors as emotions, and was able to paint them before I felt safe feeling them.  The colors of the paper and the words on the poems are all significant to the feelings expressed, as they are with the artwork,

 

Red and black are used for anger and terror. Then, I began using shades of purple to represent sadness. Darkening the color helped me to safely express overwhelming feelings of sadness. Dark green and brown represent the ugliness that is kept safely hidden in the dark recesses of my mind. Shades of blue represent peacefulness and calm; the darker the blue the more strength is gathered.

Orange represents physical pain and mental anguish.

The use of yellow feels the most significant to me.  For so long I did not allow myself the use of this color.  I did not feel deserving of the inner light and the hope it represented. That is now changing and I have more yellow as I move on than  I do orange, red and black.

 

It is my hope that in sharing this work that those who see it will feel some connection to the feelings, and know that they are not alone, that there is hope and it is possible to move forward no matter how painful.

 

Child abuse is ugly, and like my work, kept hidden for too long. I’d like to give a voice to all of those who are on this journey to healing and be SILENT NO MORE.

 

I was recently given the excellent advice to begin to move from survival mode to recovery mode.

And so as I move forward toward recovery I examine where I have been and continue to move through the fire and toward the LIGHT.

 

I’d like to give my heartfelt thanks to Dr. Silver, Rose Cohen and all those at the THRIVE community who have given me this opportunity.

                                                                             JL 07/08